Top 138 Confucius Quotes Funny

Confucius, the ancient Chinese philosopher, is renowned for his profound wisdom, but hidden within his teachings is a grain of humor that reveals his insightful yet humorous nature. “Confucius Funny Quotes” finds these light-hearted, funny quotes that offer a unique perspective on life, relationships and human nature. Although Confucius is best known for his profound philosophical teachings, these quotes demonstrate his ability to mix humor with wisdom. This collection is a delightful journey into the lighter side of Confucian thought, reminding us that even in ancient wisdom, humor can be a valuable guide to understanding life’s complexities. Do you want to know the Confucius Quotes?

Confucius Quotes Funny Life

Find among Confucius’ wise quotes on life’s everyday situations, relationships and human nature. These funny quotes provide a refreshing perspective on the journey of existence.

Confucius Quotes Funny Life
Confucius Quotes Funny Life

1. “Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.”

2. “Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.”

3. “Man who eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money.”

4. “Man who jumps off a cliff, jumps to a conclusion.”

Confucius Quotes Funny Quotes
Confucius Quotes Funny Quotes

5. “Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.”

6. “Man who loses key to girlfriend’s apartment gets no new key.”

7. “Man who goes to bed with an itchy butt wakes up with a stinky finger.”

8. “Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.”

9. “Man who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.”

Confucius Quotes Funny Meme
Confucius Quotes Funny Meme

10. “Man who stands on street corner with hands in pockets doesn’t feel crazy, feels nuts.”

11. “Man who bends over in the mirror may have crack in the glass.”

12. “Man who sits on tack gets point!”

13. “Man who tries to catch fly with chopsticks must be patient.”

14. “Man who goes to sleep with an itchy bum wakes up with a smelly finger.”

Confucius Quotes Funny Mosquito On Balls
Confucius Quotes Funny Mosquito On Balls

15. “Man who makes mistake in elevator is wrong on many levels.”

16. “Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.”

17. “Man who puts head on railroad track gets splitting headache.”

18. “Man who run behind car get exhausted.”

19. “Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.”

20. “Man who keeps feet on ground have trouble putting on pants.”

Confucius Quotes Funny Clean

You can see the lighter side of Confucius in the quotes with clear and light hearted quotes mixed with witty humor. These quotes put a unique twist on timeless truths, minus any obvious content.

Confucius Quotes Funny Clean
Confucius Quotes Funny Clean

21. “Man who stands on toilet is high on cleanliness.”

22. “Man who sleeps with an open book ends up with a well-read bed.”

23. “Man who loves to cook, eventually boils over with passion.”

24. “Man who throws dirt loses ground.”

25. “Man who runs behind car gets exhausted but very healthy legs.”

26. “Man who falls in vat of molasses comes out with a sweet disposition.”

27. “Man who goes to bed with an itchy back wakes up with a sore scratchy throat.”

28. “Man who sits on a bicycle with no wheels is two-tired.”

29. “Man who steps on a tack will soon feel his point.”

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Confucius Quotes Funny Preseason Football
Confucius Quotes Funny Preseason Football

30. “Man who chases woman through airport turnstile is going to Bangkok.”

31. “Man who pulls on Superman’s cape better not be super-stupid.”

32. “Man who eats too much alphabet soup will have a vowel movement.”

33. “Man who stands in the middle of the road gets hit by traffic.”

34. “Man who falls into river in Paris is in Seine.”

35. “Man who drinks too much has a cloudy future.”

36. “Man who sits on hot stove will rise again.”

37. “Man who exercises at the gym feels like a million bucks. Coincidentally, that’s about how much a gym membership costs.”

38. “Man who throws a clock out the window is bound to have too much time on his hands.”

39. “Man who plays hide and seek with a midget is hard to beat.”

40. “Man who loses a game of chess to a computer will soon be checked into a mental hospital.”

Inspirational Confucius Quotes Funny

Below are the funny quotes of Confucius. These humorous insights are a delightful blend of humor and wisdom that encourage reflection while bringing a smile to your face.

Inspirational Confucius Quotes Funny
Inspirational Confucius Quotes Funny

41. “Man who stands on toilet is high on life, aiming for greater heights.”

42. “Man who runs in front of car leads the way to adventure.”

43. “Man who eats too many prunes experiences a fruitful life.”

44. “Man who jumps off a cliff enjoys a brief but thrilling flight.”

45. “Man who scratches butt should not miss life’s small itches.”

46. “Man who loses key to girlfriend’s apartment discovers that love opens all doors.”

47. “Man who goes to bed with an itchy bum wakes up with an invigorating challenge.”

48. “Man who drives like hell learns to appreciate the road to happiness.”

49. “Man who thinks only of number one realizes that humor multiplies joy.”

50. “Man who stands on street corner with hands in pockets knows the world spins on humor.”

51. “Man who bends over in the mirror finds that laughter is the best reflection.”

52. “Man who sits on tack quickly appreciates life’s sharp lessons.”

53. “Man who tries to catch a fly with chopsticks finds humor in small victories.”

54. “Man who goes to sleep with a clean conscience wakes up with a refreshing outlook.”

55. “Man who makes mistake in elevator experiences an uplifting journey.”

56. “Man who sneezes without tissue creates a breeze of humor.”

57. “Man who puts head on railroad track gets a train of thought.”

58. “Man who runs behind car feels the wind of inspiration.”

59. “Man who eats jellybean knows that life can be sweet and colorful.”

60. “Man who keeps feet on the ground finds solid footing for laughter.”

Confucius Quotes Funny Drama

Confucius’ funny quotes on the drama of life will leave you deep in thought. These quotes provide a light-hearted perspective on the complexities of human interactions and the melodrama that often accompanies them.

Confucius Quotes Funny Drama
Confucius Quotes Funny Drama

61. “Man who stirs up drama often finds it simmering in his own teapot.”

62. “Drama is like a moth to a flame; it’s attracted to those who can’t resist the spotlight.”

63. “Man who wears drama as an accessory must be prepared for a wardrobe malfunction.”

64. “Drama is the spice of life, but too much seasoning can make it hard to swallow.”

65. “Man who thrives on drama might as well audition for the world’s longest play.”

66. “Drama is like an unsolicited text message—it arrives when you least expect it.”

67. “Man who overreacts to drama is like an actor in a one-man show.”

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68. “Drama is the rain that keeps some people constantly wet, even on sunny days.”

69. “Man who avoids drama is like a gardener pruning away the unnecessary branches of life.”

70. “Drama is a rollercoaster ride, but some people insist on sitting in the front row.”

71. “Man who treats drama like a spectator sport might need a better seat in the arena of life.”

72. “Drama is like a thunderstorm; it’s louder when you’re in the middle of it.”

73. “Man who invites drama into his life should prepare to serve it a five-course meal.”

74. “Drama is the fine print in the contract of human relationships—often overlooked until it’s too late.”

75. “Man who thrives on drama may need to rewrite his life’s script for a more peaceful plot.”

76. “Drama is like a guest who never leaves; it’s up to you to show it the door.”

77. “Man who carries drama with him is like a backpacker with a heavy load.”

78. “Drama is the unexpected twist in the movie of life, but some people are addicted to spoilers.”

79. “Man who avoids drama is like a navigator steering clear of treacherous waters.”

80. “Drama is a test, and it’s up to you to ace the exam of serenity.”

Actual Confucius Quotes Funny

We are happy to share with you authentic, funny quotes from Confucius. These quotes showcase his insightful yet witty take on a variety of topics.

Actual Confucius Quotes Funny
Actual Confucius Quotes Funny

81. “Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.”

82. “Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.”

83. “Man who eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money.”

84. “Man who jumps off a cliff, jumps to a conclusion.”

85. “Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.”

86. “Man who loses key to girlfriend’s apartment gets no new key.”

87. “Man who goes to bed with an itchy butt wakes up with a stinky finger.”

88. “Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.”

89. “Man who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.”

90. “Man who stands on street corner with hands in pockets doesn’t feel crazy, feels nuts.”

91. “Man who bends over in the mirror may have a crack in the glass.”

92. “Man who sits on tack will rise again.”

93. “Man who exercises at the gym feels like a million bucks. Coincidentally, that’s about how much a gym membership costs.”

94. “Man who throws a clock out the window is bound to have too much time on his hands.”

95. “Man who falls into river in Paris is in Seine.”

96. “Man who drinks too much has a cloudy future.”

97. “Man who plays hide and seek with a midget is hard to beat.”

98. “Man who loses a game of chess to a computer will soon be checked into a mental hospital.”

Confucius Quotes Funny Sayings

Explore a collection of funny Confucius quotes that blend humor with wisdom, offering a new perspective on relationships, human nature, and the complexities of life.

Confucius Quotes Funny Sayings
Confucius Quotes Funny Sayings

99. “Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.”

100. “Man who jumps off a cliff jumps to conclusions.”

101. “Man who runs in front of a car gets tired, but man who runs behind a car gets exhausted.”

102. “Man who eats too many prunes experiences a fruitful life.”

103. “Man who scratches his head while hula hooping will have a revolving question.”

104. “Man who sits on tack will rise and shine.”

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105. “Man who chases two rabbits catches neither and gets quite the workout.”

106. “Man who stands in the middle of the road gets hit by traffic.”

107. “Man who takes a bath in orange soda may have a Fanta-sea.”

108. “Man who goes to bed with an itchy back wakes up with a sore scratchy throat.”

109. “Man who puts head on railroad track has train of thought.”

110. “Man who falls into an upholstery machine will be fully recovered.”

111. “Man who tries to catch a fly with chopsticks must have a lot of patience.”

112. “Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.”

113. “Man who sleeps with an open book may wake up with a well-read bed.”

114. “Man who eats dynamite may have a blast.”

115. “Man who keeps feet on ground has a firm footing for laughter.”

116. “Man who eats fire gets heartburn.”

117. “Man who steps on the scale to measure his happiness may find weighty results.”

118. “Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.”

Confucius Quotes Funny Jokes

Enjoy a selection of humorous quotes from Confucius that provide a delightful combination of humor and timeless wisdom.

Confucius Quotes Funny Jokes
Confucius Quotes Funny Jokes

121. “Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.”

120. “Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.”

121. “Man who eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money.”

122. “Man who jumps off a cliff, jumps to a conclusion.”

123. “Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.”

124. “Man who loses key to girlfriend’s apartment gets no new key.”

125. “Man who goes to bed with an itchy bum wakes up with a smelly finger.”

126. “Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.”

127. “Man who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.”

128. “Man who stands on street corner with hands in pockets doesn’t feel crazy, feels nuts.”

129. “Man who bends over in the mirror may have a crack in the glass.”

130. “Man who sits on tack will rise again.”

131. “Man who exercises at the gym feels like a million bucks. Coincidentally, that’s about how much a gym membership costs.”

132. “Man who throws a clock out the window is bound to have too much time on his hands.”

133. “Man who falls into river in Paris is in Seine.”

134. “Man who drinks too much has a cloudy future.”

135. “Man who plays hide and seek with a midget is hard to beat.”

136. “Man who eats dynamite may have a blast.”

137. “Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.”

138. “Man who loses a game of chess to a computer will soon be checked into a mental hospital.”

Conclusion:

“Confucius Quotes Funny” presents a charming glimpse into the wisdom of the revered philosopher. It shows that knowledge and humor can coexist, providing valuable insights and a new perspective on timeless truths. Don’t forget to comment how you liked the post.

FAQs:

1. Did Confucius intentionally include humor in his teachings?

While humor was not his primary focus, Confucius occasionally used wit and humor to convey his messages and engage his students.

2. What kind of topics do the funny quotes by Confucius cover?

The funny quotes span various aspects of life, including relationships, human nature, and everyday situations, adding a humorous twist to Confucian wisdom.

3. Are these quotes in the same style as his more serious teachings?

No, these quotes take a lighter approach, often employing irony, wordplay, and clever observations that differ from the traditional seriousness of his philosophical writings.

4. Can these quotes be applied to modern life and challenges?

Absolutely. While rooted in ancient wisdom, the humor in Confucius’ quotes often contains universal truths that remain relevant and applicable to contemporary life.

5. How can I access “Confucius Quotes Funny”?

You can find this collection in various formats, such as books, websites, and digital content. Simply search for the title to discover these amusing and insightful quotes.

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